Mar 13, 2012 16:33
12 yrs ago
1 viewer *
French term

"Je choisis d’être acteur de mon territoire"

French to English Marketing Construction / Civil Engineering Sustainable development project
This is a slogan on some material publicising a new-build ecological development of a commercial activities park. The idea is that everything is environmentally friendly down to blending in with the nearby countryside, access for pedestrians and the disabled. Much emphasis is put on the need for communication between existing stakeholders and new entrepreneurs wanting to develop a unit - so that business can develop the way You (the new proprietor) want.

I've toyed with a few phrases and the best I've come up with is:

"I choose to have a stake in the way my business is built"

Any suggestions welcome
Change log

Mar 14, 2012 01:59: cc in nyc changed "Field" from "Tech/Engineering" to "Marketing"

Discussion

MatthewLaSon Mar 14, 2012:
The translation shouldn't sound hostile, or defensive. That is not in the French!
Colin Morley (X) (asker) Mar 14, 2012:
Yes Phil - You're right on both counts - thanks.
philgoddard Mar 13, 2012:
I think you mean "business park" rather than "commercial activities park".
Also, you've mis-classified this question - if you put it under general or marketing, you might get more answers.

Proposed translations

+2
49 mins
Selected

my environment is my business

an idea

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Note added at 51 mins (2012-03-13 17:24:53 GMT)
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or
I have made my environment MY business
Note from asker:
Thanks Laurette - that's quite snappy
Peer comment(s):

agree philgoddard : Excellent! Your first suggestion is better.
14 mins
Thanks Phil, I was trying to get in *je choisis* in 2° version, not so good
agree EirTranslations
2 hrs
Thanks Breatriz
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Nailed it. Thanks very much."
30 mins

"I want to have a say in my own surroundings"

Be the surroundings the actual business park or how it fits into the local environment.

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Note added at 31 mins (2012-03-13 17:05:30 GMT)
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Or

I want my say....
Note from asker:
Thanks Wendy
Something went wrong...
2 hrs

I choose to be the captain of my ship

altern. sugg.
Note from asker:
Thanks Gabriella
Something went wrong...
4 hrs

Play a part; take part!

If this is a slogan, then perhaps the French use of the 1st person might be rendered more punchy in English with a use of the impeorative.

"Play a part, take part"

The context takes care of the rest.

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Note added at 4 hrs (2012-03-13 20:56:34 GMT)
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If the speaker is in the front line and the 1st person has to be used, then variation upon the same theme :

"I'm playing a part, I'm taking part"
Note from asker:
Thanks
Something went wrong...
5 hrs

I shape my surroundings

Maybe not an expression but certainly a known collocation with a nice alliteration for a marketing document
Something went wrong...
8 hrs

In my community, I choose to be an active player.

Hello,

In other words, this proprietor isn't going to sit back and let others make all the decisions. He is going to a voice in his "territoire", or his "community" so that it can benefit all of its citizens in being "greener".


I hope this helps.

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Note added at 10 hrs (2012-03-14 03:12:13 GMT)
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There is no reason for a play on words here; also I do not like "territoire" being translated as "environment" as it sounds so awkward in English.
Note from asker:
Thanks
Something went wrong...
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