Oct 17, 2019 15:16
4 yrs ago
1 viewer *
español term

Seguir proyectando con entusiasmo el futuro del negocio

español al inglés Técnico/Ingeniería Medioambiente y ecología
Hi all! I am having a little trouble deciding on a good translation for this sentence. Thoughts? Spanish to English. I have included the original Spanish for context and my attempt at a translation in English.

Hemos abordado con trabajo y dedicación todos los ámbitos para que el proyecto sea un referente y nos permita seguir proyectando con entusiasmo el futuro del negocio.

We have put in hard work and dedication to address every aspect so that the project is a reference which will allow us to continue to eagerly project the business into the future.

Alternative:
...a reference point that will allow us to catapult the future of the business.
...a mile marker that will allow the future of the business to shine.

Discussion

Sophie Cherel Oct 17, 2019:
Quick suggestion: ...and helps drive the business forward / fuels our plans for the future of the business
Or words to that effect.
Carol Gullidge Oct 17, 2019:
to my English ears the Spanish ST is a little wordy for the context, but then, in my experience, Spanish is traditionally more flowery than English. For this reason, and because floweriness in English writing went out of fashion aeons ago, I would still aim for more concision/precision in the EN text. Above all, avoid making the TT more wordy than the ST. Even if the text is not intended for marketing purposes... I'm not suggesting you should remove anything from the ST, but, in my opinion, the ideas could be conveyed far more economically in both languages without any loss of meaning.

But you haven't told us if this is indeed a marketing text...
srmoreno (asker) Oct 17, 2019:
Original Spanish How do you all perceive the original Spanish sentence? It it written well, in your opinion?
Carol Gullidge Oct 17, 2019:
Look critically at what you have written! In particular, what is conveyed by " It is our hope that, in doing so, we will continue to catapult the business"? If you really look at this, with its changes of tense, you'll see that it isn't coherent. And where does "it is our hope that..." come from? It isn't in the ST and simply makes the message sound floppy!

What Phil says is right, but it would take a lot more than merely breaking up the sentences to make the message sound punchy
srmoreno (asker) Oct 17, 2019:
Suggestions? Any suggestions?
**We have put in hard work and dedication to address every aspect of the project. It is our hope that, in doing so, we will continue to catapult the business into the future.
philgoddard Oct 17, 2019:
I think you've stuck too closely to the Spanish in all your suggested translations. You can't get away with long sentences and no punctuation in English. And you're misunderstanding "proyectando", which means "planning".
Carol Gullidge Oct 17, 2019:
= marketing text? ...if so, you need to tighten the translation considerably

A few no-nos in UK EN:

...a reference which (=> a reference that)
... so that the project is a ...(=> to ensure that the project becomes/to turn the project into/...etc, etc (the choice is endless!))
...to eagerly project: except in Star Trek ("To Boldly Go...") this sounds ungrammatical (in fact, it does anyway!). Unless of course you are using this to make a particular point...!


Proposed translations

2 días 14 horas
Selected

continue to eagerly advance the future of the business

my suggestion
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
4 horas

to keep planning the business's future with enthusiasm

This might be an option. I don't know if the context is formal or informal.
Peer comment(s):

neutral Carol Gullidge : this is a very literal translation that doesn't quite work in English :(( But you are right: we don't know if this is marketing or not, and this affects the approach required
1 hora
Something went wrong...
16 horas

continue to enthusiastically project the future of the business

Seguir proyectando con entusiasmo el futuro del negocio

continue to enthusiastically project the future of the business
Something went wrong...
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